Stress is a way of life.  You know how it affects you, and you can usually tell when your employees are feeling it: when they say the wrong things to customers and make mistakes on spreadsheets, and you see the level of work conflict rise.

So what’s the best way to deal with stress?  While we all need time off to rest and recharge, offering extended vacations isn’t your only option.  Instead, think about having your employees interact with someone new.

A team of four researchers* examining stressed-out workers found that we tend to engage in activities that perpetuate our stress – forming a “stress spiral”.  When you’re under stress, they say, you’ll tend to stick to talking to the folks you know.  And, you’re likely to seek out those friends who are just as stressed as you are.  The two of you talk about your stress, offer each other the same old complaints and “solutions” that you know won’t work, and then you walk away from the conversation feeling even more anxiety than before.

 We are more relaxed with people we know, and thus more likely to complain.  (After all, misery loves (familiar) company!  So the cycle perpetuates.  The more stressed out we are, the smaller the number of people we talk to – and the smaller our communication networks become.  This means we lose a lot of the benefits that come from talking to people we don’t know as well.  Talking with new or unfamiliar people can reduce stress, as they can offer new ideas or resources for help.  And even talking through problems from the beginning as you explain them to someone unfamiliar can help put things in perspective. 

Also, when you talk to people you don’t know as well, you’re more likely to think about portraying a positive image.  You smile, seek shared interests, and even slow down the tempo of your communication when interacting with someone new.  All of these are good antidotes to anxiety, and can be calming.

So as a manager, what do you do?  First, of course, be aware of your own tendencies, and make an effort to interact with a variety of people when you’re stressed.  Sure, griping with a friend can be cathartic in the short run – but you can’t let that be your only social interaction.  When you’re managing employees under stress, you can:

1-Provide a little social time.  Host a lunch with another department or give your workers a fun training opportunity with new people.  This may seem a little counter-intuitive when workloads are high, but research suggests that taking the time for these activities may be just what your people need to relax and regain perspective.

2-Emphasize the human connection.  One way to make workers’ jobs more meaningful is to help them see how the work they do impacts other people.  If you can give your employees the opportunity to talk with new people who appreciate what they do, they will feel their work is more meaningful.  While being responsible for the welfare of other people can be stressful, the opposite is also true – being disconnected from the people who benefit from your work can cause a sense of hopelessness and disconnection.

3-Invite someone new to a meeting.  Just having an outsider in the room raises social awareness – we try to be “better” versions of ourselves when we meet someone new.  And if that visitor can validate that the work your team does is important and appreciated, the impact will be even better.

*Kalish, Y., Luria, G., Toker, S., & Westman, M. (2015).  Till stress do us part: On the interplay between perceived stress and communication network dynamics.  Journal of Applied Psychology, 100, 1717-1751.