When I was a kid, my Mom sang this song with me: “Love is something, if you give it away, you’ll just end up having more.”

As an adult, I’ve learned that confidence works the same way. 

When you have confidence, you inspire others to believe in you as a leader – but they also become more sure of their teammates and themselves. 

When you have enough confidence to give it away, you just end up having more.

I love this definition of Confidence from the MindBodySpirit festival (mbsfestival.com.au): Confidence is believing in yourself, feeling comfortable in your true-self, knowing you have worth. …Confidence is attractive, brings success, helps to connect well with others, and you generally feel happier. Only you can say you’re not confident.

Or as I like to say it, confidence is “being at home in your own skin.”

I’ve often said that teaching leadership is my missionary work. I believe your career should be a positive part of your life. For work to be enriching, leaders need to devote themselves to the development of mentally healthy workplaces. They must motivate, coach, and encourage. Leaders who combine self-confidence with self-awareness do this at the highest levels.

As the leaders of today and tomorrow, its on the shoulders of Millennials to make companies and organizations better places to work.

I titled my upcoming book “The Confident Millennial.” My focus on Millennial leaders comes from the belief that this generation has some amazing positive traits – ingenuity, a belief in diversity and inclusion, and a commitment to social justice being just a few. But I believe Millennials would benefit from more confidence. 

Here are some of the reasons confidence is such an integral part of good leadership.

When leaders are confident, others relax

True confidence doesn’t come from thinking we cannot fail. It comes from not being afraid of failure. 

There’s a sense of calm and personal power that comes with being confident. Kisha Wynter writes on yourpowerunleashed.org, “The most relaxed person in a room or in a situation will always be the most powerful.” When self-doubt doesn’t get in the way, you focus your attention on more meaningful things: tasks, ideas, and problems.

When challenges arise and there’s too much to do, there’s something so calming about the person who displays quiet faith that it will all turn out OK. Just as stress and anger can be emotionally contagious, so too can positive feelings. Confident people lend us their calm demeanor. We relax and focus more fully on the work in front of us, rather than wasting cognitive energy worrying.

Millennials have some work to do in this arena. In a 2018 survey from the British organization Teach First in 2018, 1/3 of Millennials reported that they were being held back in their careers due to their fear of failure.

Confident leaders are better coaches

Confidence allows you to “get out of your own way.” When you worry less about your own performance, you have the mental and emotional capacity to help others.

Confident leaders give good, but candid feedback. Rather than worrying about how they’ll be perceived, they focus on their subordinate’s needs first. You’ll get more focused, regular coaching from someone with healthy confidence.

You’ll also get better work assignments from leaders who are confident. It takes courage to delegate work. Quoted in the Harvard Business Review (2012, citation below), Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer describes the “self-enhancement bias” that keeps people from sharing their workload with others. If you believe that you’ll lose status by giving up a project, or that someone else will do the work better than you, you’re unlikely to delegate. It takes confidence to pass assignments along to other people.

Self-confidence starts with knowing yourself – your strengths and areas where you can improve. You become more confident with mentors in your corner. It also helps to have sufficient information and training to know you’re handling the job right.

Unfortunately, many Millennial leaders haven’t had access to mentoring or managerial training. Instead, they’re being promoted due to their technical excellence, then left to flounder in leadership roles.

That’s why I’m committed to making this already excellent population more confident. I want to be a mentor and resource. 

And yes, there is a selfish motive. I believe that by giving confidence to Millennials, I’ll likely end up having more myself.

Amy Gallo, “Why Aren’t You Delegating?”, Harvard Business Review, July 26, 2012 (https://hbr.org/2012/07/why-arent-you-delegating).

A terrific resource for improving confidence is The Self Confidence Workbook: A Guide to Overcomingt Self-Doubt and Improving Self-Esteem” by Barbara Markway and Celia Ampel, © 2018.